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I have been many times in love.
but never quite like this.
Where falling for the world feels like falling for myself,
and I thought I loved me then...
When suddenly every beautiful thing feels close enough to touch...
like spring is happening inside my chest-
the creaking of my skin, bones
flesh- expanding- let more in!

Oh world, I can not hold you close enough
so let me stamp out little red lines across your heart,
and they spell out
I
  AM
        HERE

But though I left to prove that
once
I existed.

What I found was
My own footprints fade and blend with countless others.
No,
I will never change your face
with my feeble footprints
but you never needed to change,
it was me
all along-
My substance has shifted for knowing you better!
Surviving your misery,

like winter waits for spring,

gives me new life.
New strength
One that waits frozen
for the sun.

The brave crocuses who poke first, through the frosty fields
and die
brave soldiers, pioneers,
martyring themselves
for the rhododendrons and daffodils
who will follow in their footsteps.